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Things that will never happen but should: Banning smoking on North Carolina beaches.

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Carolina Beach in North Carolina implementing a smoking ban. In case anyone’s forgotten, this is North Carolina, where the only thing more heralded than tobacco is pulled pork. Michael Jordan is in there somewhere too.

I’ve been to this beach. It is known for crap waves, keg-in-tent camping, four-wheeling and rebel flags, only two of which I tend to eschew. In this era of new sagebrush rebellions and the Tar Heel State’s presence on the swing-state list, there is little chance this measure will pass. A local states his position thusly:

Don Mcata of Canal Drive said he moved here a year and a half ago and he chose Carolina Beach over other coastal towns because of the unique character of the Town. He said America was founded on tobacco cash crops and North Carolina historically depended on it as a major cash crop throughout history.

He said, “I’m getting a little tired of being told from year to year what my town or state can tell me what to do or what not to do as a tax paying adult. I’ve never been in trouble with the law and my daughter is in Afghanistan right now with the Marines.”

He asked, “What’s next?” and “Where does it stop.”

He said, “Many of our ordinances are not being enforced. There are still dogs” running on the beach when the Town prohibits it.”

Yes on smoking, no on dogs. Huh.

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