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Fitness for $10 and some tap water

3 Slosh Pipe Exercises

3 exercises with the slosh pipe

My friend Matt and I are constantly looking for new ways to torture ourselves through exercise. Whether it be a series of box jumps on a plyo box high enough to garner the nickname “the ERV” (Emergency Room Visit) to culminating an already vomit-inducing circuit with something we call “a ridiculous number of … (insert exercise),” the more physically absurd, the more we think it needs more reps.

Where some people believe a spotter should be used, we believe in inserting a videographer for the purpose of capturing the hilarity of one of us falling/dropping a weight on a body part/crashing into the kettle bell rack/collapsing in a mess of completely deteriorated fine motor skills. Whatever the malady, it’s always funnier on tape.

This week Matt unveiled the newest garage-built fitness contraption to our arsenal: the slosh pipe.

We are neither the inventors of or first to use said device but I can assure you, it’s not something that should find its way into the Presidential Fitness Challenge. The slosh pipe is a length of PVC pipe sealed at both ends to contain a specified amount of water, depending on the desired weight.

Matt used 4” pipe, which means few people other than, say Dr. J., can get their hands around it. The idea is to simply engage in typical weight lifting motions, like a push press, squat, clean or curl, while trying to keep the slosh pipe stable. Give that water even a half degree of angle in one direction and you’ll begin to use a searing array of muscles to keep it steady. Quads. Traps. Lats. Whatever the muscle group, I’m certain the slosh pipe hates it.

It took me quite a while to clean it and then press it, and even longer to take a few steps with it above my head. We did chest carries up a hill and some squats mixed in with hill runs and an assortment of other masochistic fitness machinations to ensure that the general public viewing this shit-show in the local park was thoroughly convinced we were simply over-ambitious members of the plumber’s union. Thankfully, Matt’s wife and another friend joined us so we were not alone in our lunacy.

Anyway, a slosh pipe is easy to build, costs less than $10 and is way freaking better than this thing.

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